Can't seem to keep track of those darn panties
by Makena'lei
Summary: someone has lost something yet again. just a short drabble-ish crack fic


Her heart pounded in her chest. The humiliation was astounding. Dr. Shepard was standing right their, with his wife, whom he was going to tell about the divorce tonight. She was happy about that, but not about this. In addition to the Shepard's, Dr Webber was also standing around with the famous interns of Bailey's, the only ones to really survive all this drama, Karev, Stevens, Yang, O'Malley, and me, Grey. Dr. Torres was watching from a distance with a smile on her face. Only Dr. Bailey was absent. Thank God, she had found the last pair.

"I'll ask one more time, whose- whose- "Dr. Webber struggled for the word.

"Thong" Christina supplied helpfully.

"Whose panties are these?" Dr. Webber yelled. A few nurses stared, while one lone patient laughed as she walked by with her IV. The interns looked down, again Callie approached.

"Do not tell me these are yours Dr. Torres" Dr. Webber warned. This would have been the second time she claimed my underwear. How these particular pair came to hang on the bulletin board, was a mystery, but I remember how I lost them, it was today actually. He pushed me into a supply closet after a 15 hour brain procedure. I had walking around since then feeling very uncomfortable. And now someone must have found them, as they hung in all their glory on the bulletin board, as if the first time wasn't pain enough. This pair was more risque too. They were black lace, almost no fabric really. I had been feeling sexy this morning.

"Sorry Chief, I'm more of a commando type" She remarked. George turned red, while Karev stared.

"Whose are they?" He repeated. He looked over each one of us.

"Dr. Steven's, do these belong to you?" He asked Izzie.

"I don't think so. Do these look familiar Alex?" She questioned. Alex turned red now as the Chief stared at him.

"No, they uh- no those aren't Dr. Steven's" He managed to stammer before glaring at Izzie, who seemed very amused.

"Dr. Yang, are these yours?" He asked turning to her. She kept a very cool demeanor.

"No sir, those are not mine. See?" She pulled her own underwear strip up and flashed them to everyone, they were white with pink dots it seemed.

"Very un-Yangish" Torres commented. Christina just stared.

"Dr. Torres, a serious answer please" Dr. Webber asked.

"See?" She yanked her scrubs down, exposing her fleshy thigh and a pair of lacy red boy shorts with black ribbons. George choked on the air, Alex laughing patted him roughly on the back.

"That's enough" Dr. Webber exclaimed.

"Dr. Grey, please tell me these aren't yours" Dr. Webber turned to me.

"Sir, I would never hang my underwear on a bulletin board" I dodged the question. Nearly everyone noticed too. Their looks seemed to ask, why this again?

"Dr. Shepard?" He turned to Addison.

"Caught me Chief, won't happen again" Derek said with a smile. Dr. Webber didn't find it funny, but Izzie and I did.

"No Richard, I still have mine on" Addison replied, elbowing Derek in the stomach.

"Well, then whose damn panties are they?" He exclaimed loudly. He ripped them off the board during his rant and was waving them in people's faces now.

"Dr. Webber!" Dr. Bailey yelled. "What are you doing shaking my panties in my intern's faces?" She said loudly, in her usual nazi tone. Dr. Webber dropped them to the ground immediately. He turned red in the face.

"Your- your-" He struggled again for words.

"Dr. Bailey you wear a thong?" Karev burted out. Bailey turned on him.

"Is that any of your damn business?" She asked. He shook his head. She bent down and snatched them off the ground. Chief Webber was still to stunned to speak.

"Don't do it again" He managed to croak out before he left, walking very fast. Everyone just stood and stared.

"I would've pictured her more granny panty or at least boxer" Izzie commented like she would the weather.

"New Rule, Rule #6" She started. "No sex while on duty. I can't keep covering your behinds" She said.

"Dr. Bailey" Derek started.

"Uh-uh. Thank God most of the residents are taken now. i can't keep up with this" Bailey sighed.

"It's like a soap opera" Izzie again commented. Bailey glared at her.

"Dr, Steven's go to the clinic" Bailey ordered, "Take Karev, and don't stop for sex" She warned. They both turned red and scurried off.

"Dr. Yang, Dr. Burke wants you to scrub in in an hour. You get prepped and prepared." Yang left.

"Dr. Torres, could you take O'Malley on ortho rotation?" Bailey asked.

"Of course" She smiled. "Come on Georgie"

"No sex O'Malley!" She yelled at their retreating forms. Derek laughed.

"Way to kill the mood Miranda" Addison joked. She turned to them.

"Dr. Grey!" She yelled, as I was trying to sneak away.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?" I asked.

"Keep your panties to yourself" She warned as she passed me the thong. "This is the 2nd time, the 2nd!" She exclaimed. She walked off muttering to herself about it always being her interns

"Second time?" Addison questioned. I turned to them.

"I can't seem to keep track of them" I said sarcastically. "If you'll excuse me, I have to speak to someone about losing my underwear so often" I muttered and walked away. I heard Derek's laughter from a wing over.

THE NEXT DAY.

I had gotten up early and gotten into work before anyone else who knew me. It was the end of the graveyard shift, and Dr. Webber wasn't in yet. I pinned the underwear neatly to the board, making sure they stuck out. They were expensive underwear, but it would be worth it. They were navy blue, his favorite color. I had washed them, to make them look not brand new. I say I did a pretty good job. After making sure they were pinned tightly with crazy glue, I left to get some sleep. Two hours later my pager went off. It was a page for the bulletin board. Dr. Webber was fuming next to the glued underwear along with Bailey. Karev, Izzie, Christina, Burke, Torres, O'Malley, and Derek were already there.

"Where is Addison?" Webber asked Derek.

"She's not feeling great" He lied. She was probably sad that they were divorcing.

"I'm here" She yelled. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she glared at me.

"This has gotten out of hand. Whose underwear are these?" He pointed at them now.

"Sir, those are male. Why are we here?" Yang asked.

"Because you are into the habit of prank playing."

"Aren;t those yours, Derek?" Addison asked innocently. Webber turned and stared at Derek.

"Are they Dr. Shepard?" He asked in a dangerously low voice.

"I have a simliar pair, yes, are those them, I'm not sure" He admitted.

"Check the tag. I bet mommy still writes your name on them" Bailey said. Derek went red, his mom did still do that whenever she could. Dr. Webber carefully checked the tag. He growled.

"Derek Shepard, Seattle Grace. I hope no one ever returns your underwear here" Dr. Webber said.

"Chief" Derek began.

"Save it. You're on scut, Dr. Thomas will take what he can for the rest of the day" Derek pouted, but didn't fight back. I laughed loudly. Bailey turned to me, then to him. She shook her head.

"I'm not getting involved" She said and walked off in true Bailey fashion. I hid my smirk and walked away, leaving a stunned Derek and an angry Addison.


End file.
